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Icebreaker Questions: 90 Fun Ways to Get Chatting

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Good icebreaker questions are light, easy to answer and open the door to a story. Here are 90 of our own, sorted by mood, from silly ones for a busy room to deeper ones for later.

Light and silly icebreakers for the first few minutes

These work anywhere and at any hour: a first message, a busy room, a slow Tuesday evening. Nobody has to think hard or give much away, and the answers are usually funny, which is exactly what you want at the start.

  1. If your kettle could talk, what would it moan about?
  2. Which snack would you defend to the end, even if everyone else thinks it's grim?
  3. What's a song you know every word to but would never admit to in public?
  4. Pick a tiny superpower: always finding a parking space, or toast that always lands butter side up?
  5. What's the oddest thing in your fridge right now?
  6. Which fictional character would make the worst flatmate?
  7. If you walked into every room to theme music, what would yours be?
  8. What's the most pointless rule you've ever had to follow at work?
  9. What's your most-used emoji, and does it mean what you think it means?
  10. If you had a robot for one week, which chore would it get first?
  11. What's the silliest argument you've ever won?
  12. What would go in your signature sandwich, and what would you call it?
  13. What's the longest you've spent hunting for something that was in your hand all along?
  14. What's the worst haircut you've ever had, and who was to blame?
  15. If you could add one made-up bank holiday to the calendar, what would it celebrate?

Follow it up: laugh first, then give your own answer. If they say their kettle would grumble about being forgotten, tell them what yours would say. Matching their silliness is half the fun.

Icebreakers that get a whole chat room talking

In a chat room, several conversations run at once and the screen moves quickly. Throw your question to the whole room rather than one person, keep it to a single line, and pick something anyone can answer in a few words. Natter's chat rooms are adults only and moderated by admins, so keep it cheeky rather than rude.

  1. Quick one for the room: what's everyone drinking right now?
  2. Who's got a claim to fame? Tenuous ones very welcome.
  3. What's everyone having for dinner tonight, or is it a cereal sort of evening?
  4. What's everyone's favourite word in another language?
  5. Which board game causes the most arguments in your house?
  6. Anyone watching something good at the moment? I've run out of series.
  7. Who's had the strangest day today? Let's hear it.
  8. Night owls or early birds in here tonight?
  9. What's one small win everyone's had today?
  10. If we all had to form a band right now, what would we be called?
  11. Which film does everyone else love that you think is overrated?
  12. What's the most useless thing you've ever bought online?
  13. What's been broken at home for ages that you've just learned to live with?
  14. Who here can actually cook, and who's winging it?
  15. What's one thing everyone here should try at least once?

Follow it up: when someone gives an answer you like, reply to them by username and ask one thing more. A good back and forth in a room is often how a one-to-one chat begins. They work just as well in a private group chat: VIP and VIP+ members can start one for up to 50 people.

Icebreaker questions that make a one-to-one chat easy

Once you've said hello in a private message, there's a bit more room. These are still easy, but they're about the person rather than the crowd, so they tend to get longer answers.

  1. What's keeping you busy these days, apart from chatting on here?
  2. What's something you're looking forward to this month?
  3. What's the last thing you got properly excited about?
  4. Are you a planner, or do you make it up as you go along?
  5. Which skill would you love to have without the effort of learning it?
  6. What's your favourite way to spend a rainy evening?
  7. Which place have you been to that you'd go back to tomorrow?
  8. What do your friends always come to you for?
  9. What's something you learned recently that surprised you?
  10. What's something that makes you lose track of time?
  11. What's a small thing that instantly makes your day better?
  12. Which job do you think you'd be secretly brilliant at?
  13. Which hobby or podcast has you hooked at the moment?
  14. Which question do you wish people asked you more often?
  15. What's something you've been meaning to try for ages?

Follow it up: ask what got them into it or what happened next, then share your own version. Three or four messages about one good answer beat ten questions skimmed.

What should you say after they answer?

An icebreaker only opens the door. What keeps the chat going is what you do with the answer, and a simple pattern works almost every time: react to what they said, add something of your own, then ask one more thing.

Here's how that might look, using a question from the first list:

  • If your kettle could talk, what would it moan about?
  • Being boiled five times for one cup. I keep wandering off.
  • Ha, mine would say the same. What keeps distracting you?
  • Usually a chat like this one, to be fair.

The third line does the work: it laughs, relates and asks. For more on keeping things moving once a chat has started, see our guide on how to keep a conversation going.

Getting-to-know-you questions that invite a story

A few messages in, when the chat has warmed up, these give the other person room to tell you something real. They suit a private message, and they're better spread over a few days than asked in one go.

  1. What's a moment from the past year you'd happily live again?
  2. Who in your life makes you laugh the most?
  3. Which friend have you known the longest, and how did you meet?
  4. What's a hobby you picked up and then quietly dropped?
  5. Which three things would make up your perfect day off?
  6. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
  7. What's a nickname you've had, and how did you end up with it?
  8. What music goes on when you're cooking?
  9. Is there a smell that takes you straight back somewhere?
  10. What's something people often get wrong about you?
  11. What's something you picked up from a parent or grandparent that you still do?
  12. Where have you always wanted to go, and what's stopped you so far?
  13. Where's the most unexpected place you've ever made a friend?
  14. Which book, film or song came along at exactly the right time for you?
  15. What's a tradition you have with friends or family?

Follow it up: stories are the gold here. If they mention a spontaneous trip, ask where they ended up staying or how it all turned out. Little details make people feel listened to.

Deeper questions for when the chat has some trust in it

Save these for later, once you've been talking for a while. Ask one at a time, give them space to answer, and be ready to answer it yourself. If someone would rather keep things light, that's fine: go back to something easier.

  1. What's something you're proud of that most people don't know about?
  2. What's something you care about that you wish more people noticed?
  3. Was there a moment that changed the direction of your life?
  4. What's a lesson you learned the hard way?
  5. When do you feel most like yourself?
  6. What are you working on about yourself at the moment?
  7. Who shaped the person you are now more than anyone?
  8. What's a risk you're glad you took?
  9. What does home mean to you: a place, a person or a feeling?
  10. What's something you're slowly learning to enjoy?
  11. What do you think you're better at than you give yourself credit for?
  12. What would you like more of in your life this year?
  13. What's a kindness someone showed you that you still think about?
  14. What's a value you'd never compromise on?
  15. What does a really good day feel like, rather than look like?

Follow it up: thank them for sharing, and resist the urge to fix or judge. A simple "that makes sense", followed by a bit of your own story, goes a long way.

Icebreakers that rescue a quiet chat

Every chat slows down sometimes. Rather than sending "you still there?", try a fresh, easy question that gives the other person a reason to reply with no pressure attached. Send one, then leave it. If nothing comes back, they may simply be busy, so don't read anything into it.

  1. Totally random, but what's the funniest name you've ever seen on a shop?
  2. New topic: what's a word or phrase you say far too often?
  3. Can I ask a daft one? What's your favourite pasta shape, and why?
  4. What's the most interesting thing that's happened since we last chatted?
  5. Quick one: mountains, beach or a city break?
  6. I need a new song for my playlist. What should I add?
  7. What's a small thing you're weirdly competitive about?
  8. What's a sound that instantly relaxes you?
  9. What's on your to-do list that definitely isn't getting done today?
  10. If you had to fill a time capsule today, what's going in it?
  11. Do you have a go-to joke, and are you brave enough to tell it?
  12. What's the last thing you cooked that actually turned out well?
  13. What turned up in your last clear-out that you'd forgotten you owned?
  14. I've just realised I never asked: have you got any brothers or sisters?
  15. Which season suits you best, and why?

Follow it up: if they reply, run with the new topic as if the pause never happened. If you'd rather open with something about them than a question, try our conversation starters, which are built around profiles, rooms and shared interests.

One good question beats a long list

Pick one, ask it, then really listen. People remember the person who cared about their answer, not the one with the cleverest question.

Icebreaker questions people ask

What is an icebreaker question?

An icebreaker question is a light, easy question that gets two people talking when they don't know each other yet. It's low pressure to answer, it usually invites a little story, and it gives you something to follow up on.

What are good icebreaker questions for adults?

Good ones for adults are grown-up but light: what someone is looking forward to, the oddest thing in their fridge, or a snack they would defend to the end. Keep personal or serious questions until you have been chatting for a while and the other person has opened up.

How many icebreaker questions should I ask at once?

One. A single question with your own answer attached feels like a conversation, while three or four at once feels like a questionnaire. Wait for the reply, follow it up, and only reach for a new question when the topic has run its course.

What is a good icebreaker for a group chat?

Something anyone can answer in a line, asked to the whole room: what everyone is drinking, who can actually cook, or which film they think is overrated. In a busy chat room, put someone's username in your reply so they know it is meant for them.

What if nobody answers my icebreaker?

Let it go and try again later. People step away from their screens, get busy or just are not in the mood, and that is their call to make. In a room, try a different question after a while, and in a private message, never send the same one twice.

Are icebreaker questions the same as conversation starters?

Not quite. An icebreaker question works with anyone, while a conversation starter is usually built on something specific, such as a detail in their profile or a comment they made in a room. It helps to have both, and our conversation starters page has 75 of the second kind.

Your first question is waiting

Make your profile, pop into a room or open a private message, and try one of these tonight.

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