First Date Questions: 75 to Keep You Both Talking

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Good first date questions are light, open and about the person in front of you. Start with easy warm-ups, go deeper once you're both relaxed, give your own answers too, and save exes and money for later.

How many first date questions do you need?

Fewer than you'd think. Three or four tucked away in your head will carry a first date, because every good answer hands you the next question.

The 75 below run in the order most dates do, from warm-ups to a warm goodbye. Pick a few that sound like you; nobody wants to watch you read them off your phone. For games and lists to use in a chat, see all our questions.

Easy first date questions for the first ten minutes

The first few minutes are for settling in. These are light enough to answer with your coat still half on, and several come from the room around you.

Did you find the place all right, or did you go round the houses?
How's your day really been, not the polite version?
Are you a bit nervous too, or is that just me?
Is this your kind of place, or would you have picked somewhere else?
What were you up to an hour before you got here?
Which drink on this menu would you never order, and why?
Are you more of a talker or a listener, would you say?
What do you make of the music they're playing?
How fussy are you about the way your tea or coffee is made?
What caught your eye when you walked in here?
What did you nearly wear today, before you changed your mind?
What's your go-to topic when you meet someone new?

Questions to ask on a first date to get to know them

Once you've both relaxed, go a little further: how someone spends their time and what makes them tick, without prying.

If every day came with a bonus hour, what would you spend it on?
Is there a story behind your name?
After a long week, do you recharge with people or with peace and quiet?
Who's the most talented person in your family, and at what?
What's a piece of advice you were given and actually took?
Are you a creature of habit, or do you get bored of routine quickly?
Where's somewhere you've been that nobody else you know has been?
How do you celebrate when something goes right?
Do you give much of your time to a cause, a team or a hobby?
Are you the same person at work as you are with your friends?
What did you do on your last birthday?
What's something you've stuck with for years?
If you could go back and study anything, what would you pick?
Which languages can you get by in, even badly?

Fun first date questions for a proper laugh

Laughing together is the fastest way to stop a date feeling like a date. Give your own answers to these too, especially the embarrassing ones.

Have you ever done something purely because someone bet you wouldn't?
What's the worst idea you've ever had that seemed brilliant at the time?
What's the oddest job you've ever done, even if it only lasted a day?
Which souvenir have you brought home that you instantly regretted?
Are you a food sharer, or should I keep my chips out of reach?
What are you terrible at but enjoy anyway?
When did the weather last ruin a plan, and how did you rescue it?
What's the shortest a New Year's resolution of yours has ever lasted?
Which superstition do you follow, even though you know it's daft?
What's the longest you've ever been stuck somewhere, and how did you pass the time?
Which food did you hate for years and now can't get enough of?
Have you ever fallen asleep somewhere you really shouldn't have?
Do you do any impressions, and are they any good?

Deeper first date questions, if the mood is right

Only go here once the chat feels easy and they seem happy to open up. Reflective is good; heavy can wait. Our deep questions go further, for later dates.

What did the toughest job you've ever had teach you?
If you weren't doing what you do now, what would you be doing?
Who's someone you admire that most people have never heard of?
What's something you've had to work hard at that comes easily to other people?
When did you last feel properly proud of someone else?
Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger that stuck with you?
What's something from your background or culture you love sharing with people?
What's a present you've been given that meant more than it cost?
What's something you gave up that you don't miss at all?
What's the last thing you did for the very first time?
What's a choice you made that surprised the people around you?
What's the most you've ever gone out of your way for a friend?

Flirty first date questions that stay sweet

Save these for when the warmth is clearly mutual. If one doesn't land, laugh and move on; our guide on how to flirt has more on reading the mood.

What made you say yes to today?
So far so good, or is the jury still out?
What's your secret weapon for making someone laugh?
What do you think we've got in common?
When you've got a crush, are you chatty or tongue-tied?
Do you prefer doing the asking out, or being asked?
If we'd sat next to each other on a train, would either of us have said hello?
What would your friends warn me about?
If this were a scene in a film, what kind of film would it be?
Would we make a good double act, and what would our act be?
What are you most curious to find out about me?
Is a bit of teasing fair game, or should I be on my best behaviour?

Questions to wrap up and hint at a second date

People replay the end of a date on the way home. These help you finish warmly and make another meeting easy to suggest, and just as easy to turn down.

What time do you turn into a pumpkin?
What's been your favourite part of today?
Did I talk too much, or did I just about get away with it?
Is there a story you didn't get round to telling me?
Which of the things we talked about should we actually go and do?
Is there a place you've wanted to go but haven't had anyone to go with?
What should I read or watch before we see each other again?
What's coming up this week that I should ask you about?
So, which of us is brave enough to suggest a second date?
Shall we swap numbers, or stick to Natter messages for a while?
Are you a hugger, or more of a wave-goodbye person?
Are you all sorted for getting home?

What to talk about on a first date, and what to leave for later

Good first date conversation topics let you both show some personality without feeling tested:

Food you'd cross town for
Trips, past and planned
Music and gigs
Books, films and telly
Pets, and pets you'd like
Friends who make you laugh
Something you're learning
The week's daft moments
Anything you've chatted about before

Others are better saved for a later date.

Topics to leave for later
Leave for later	Why it can wait	Try instead
Exes in detail	It drags the evening into the past, and comparisons rarely land well.	What they're enjoying about life right now
Money and what people earn	It can feel like being sized up.	How they like to spend a weekend
Heated politics	Disagreeing kindly is hard with someone you met an hour ago.	Something they've been reading or learning about
Health worries and family rows	People share these once they trust you, not because you asked.	A family story they love telling
Exactly where you live or work	It stays private until you know someone well.	Places they love visiting

If they bring one up themselves, listen kindly and keep your own side short.

How do you keep a first date from feeling like an interview?

Ask question after question, give nothing back, and a lovely evening turns into a job interview with nicer drinks. Three habits stop that happening.

Share back: When they've answered, give your own answer at roughly the same length. They came to get to know you too.
Follow up before you move on: Your most useful question is usually one you didn't plan: how did that start, what happened next? One follow-up beats three fresh questions.
Listen properly: Notice the subject that makes them talk faster or lean in, and stay there a while. If you're just waiting for a gap to ask your next question, you've stopped listening.

Here's an invented example of one question turning into a conversation:

Have you ever done something purely because someone bet you wouldn't?
I once ate a whole jar of pickled onions at my cousin's wedding.
I need the full story. Who made the bet?
Her new husband. I won, but I couldn't look at an onion for a year.
Worth it. I once did a sponsored silence and lasted until lunchtime.

The follow-up asked for more, and the last line gave a story back. Our guide on how to keep a conversation going covers the same habits in messages.

Met on Natter? You've already got a head start

Natter is for adults, 18+, who'd rather get to know someone by talking first. If that's how you met, you're not starting from scratch: you already know whether they make you laugh, and your messages are full of threads to pick back up.

Before you go, scroll back through your chats. Look for the things they were looking forward to or fretting about, such as a trip, an interview or a new kitten, and ask how they went. Mention one or two, not ten: you want them to feel remembered, not researched.

Don't worry if they seem a little different in person: some people are chattier in messages and shyer over coffee, so give it a few minutes. Still at the chatting stage? Our singles chat guide shows how a good chat becomes a date.

How do you stay safe on a first date?

A little planning lets you relax and enjoy the conversation.

Choose somewhere busy
A café or pub with plenty of people around, at a time that suits you both.
Keep a friend in the loop
Tell them the place, the time and the username of the person you're meeting.
Make your own way there and back
Then you can leave when you like, and nobody needs your address yet.
Keep chatting on Natter for now
Swap numbers when you're ready, not before. Natter shows a warning if someone tries to move your chat to another messaging app.
Never send money
A request for money or gift cards, however sad the story, is your cue to stop replying, block and report.
Trust your gut
If anything feels off, thank them and go. A reason is optional, and you can block or report them afterwards.

Our chat safety guide covers spotting a catfish or a scam long before you meet.

A few answers before you head out

What are good questions to ask on a first date?

Open, friendly questions about everyday life work well, such as how someone spends a weekend or the oddest job they've done. Ask a handful, follow up on the answers and share your own.

What should you talk about on a first date?

Talk about food, travel, music, pets, friends and the funny things that happened this week, because they let your personalities show. If you met on Natter, anything you've already chatted about is an easy start.

What should you avoid talking about on a first date?

Leave exes in detail, money, heated politics and very personal subjects such as health or family troubles for later dates. Keep your address and exactly where you work to yourself until you know someone well.

What do you do if the conversation dries up?

Go back to something they mentioned earlier, comment on something around you, or tell a short story of your own. A pause of a few seconds is normal, and it feels far longer to you than to them.

How do you end a first date well?

Thank them and say what you enjoyed. If you'd like to meet again, say so plainly; if you wouldn't, a kind message afterwards is enough, and Natter's one-click polite replies make that easier to send.

Your Next First Date Could Start With a Natter

Get to know someone in the chat first, and your date can pick up where your messages left off.