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Conversation Starters: 75 Ways to Get a Chat Going

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A good conversation starter picks up on something specific, like a line in their profile or a comment in a chat room, then asks an easy question about it. Below are 75 we wrote ourselves, grouped by situation.

What makes a good conversation starter?

"Hey" and "how are you?" are polite, but they hand all the work to the other person. A good starter does some of that work for them.

The openers that get replies have three things in common. They're specific, so the other person can tell you're talking to them and not to everyone. They're easy to answer, with no homework and no pressure. And they leave room for a story, so the reply isn't a dead end.

A starter doesn't even have to be a question. A small opinion ("toast tastes better cut into triangles") or a bit of news about your day works too, as long as it gives them something to react to. Treat every line below as a template and swap in the real detail you spotted.

Starters that show you read their profile

Profiles and posts are full of openers: photos, interests, what someone is looking for, a post they wrote in Spaces or a comment they left on a poll. Your daily match suggestions and search are good places to find someone to try these on, and one real detail shows you looked properly.

  1. That photo by the sea looks like a cracking day out. Where was it taken?
  2. I see you've just taken up climbing. How are the arms holding up?
  3. You volunteer at an animal rescue? That's lovely. What's your favourite part, apart from the cuddles?
  4. You mentioned you're learning Spanish. How's it going, and what's the first useful phrase you picked up?
  5. I see we both put long walks on our profiles. What's the furthest you've ever walked in one go?
  6. I spotted record collecting on your profile. Which one would you rescue first in a flood?
  7. Is that you in a hot air balloon in one of your photos? I need the full story.
  8. I saw your comment on the poll about Sunday mornings. Lie-in all the way for me, but I want to hear your reasoning.
  9. Your post in Spaces about the allotment made me laugh. What are you growing this year?
  10. There's a guitar in one of your photos. Do you play, or is it there to look good?
  11. Your profile says you're after new friends nearby. Are you new to the area, or just fancy some fresh faces?
  12. You listed cooking as an interest. What's the dish you make when you want to impress?
  13. Cycling's on your profile. Where's the loveliest place you've ever ended up on two wheels?
  14. Your bio says you can't sing to save your life. Is that modesty, or a warning?
  15. Your profile says you work odd hours. When do you actually get to switch off?

Stick to one detail. Mentioning three things from someone's profile in a first message feels less like a hello and more like a background check.

Fun conversation starters that get you into a busy room

In a room, the trick is to join what's already happening rather than start from scratch. Read back through the last few messages, find a thread you've got something to add to, and jump in with a short line. Natter is for adults 18+, admins moderate the chat rooms, and a bit of cheek is welcome.

  1. Caught up now, and I'm with whoever said winter beats summer. Bring on the cardigans.
  2. Just arrived and catching up. How did the cat story end?
  3. Sorry to barge in, but I have strong feelings about that film.
  4. Love that the dance show's come up. Who do you all want to win?
  5. Is the quiz still going? Count me in for the next question.
  6. That's a brave opinion about sprouts. Is anyone backing it up?
  7. Back again. Did anyone actually go for the run they promised last night?
  8. Can I add to the debate? Cold pizza for breakfast is a perfectly good choice.
  9. Hello, everyone. I'm told this is where the good chat is. Prove it.
  10. I've been reading along for a few minutes and I have to join the holiday debate.
  11. Making a cuppa before I join in properly. Did I miss anything good?
  12. That joke deserved more reactions. Consider this a round of applause.
  13. Whoever just said they've started learning to knit: what are you making first?
  14. Is it just me, or has this week lasted about a month?
  15. Congratulations to whoever mentioned the new job. How's the first week going?

Use people's usernames when you reply, and write each opener for the room you're in: a line copied from room to room is easy to spot.

How a good opener turns into a proper chat

Here are two made-up examples. In the first, you might send a profile starter to someone who mentioned they've just learned to swim:

  • Your profile says you've just learned to swim. How's life in the deep end?
  • I can do a whole length now without grabbing the side.
  • That's a proper achievement. What made you finally go for it?
  • A holiday next summer. I refuse to sit on the beach watching again.

In the second, you might drop into a busy room where people are arguing about Sunday dinners:

  • Evening. Did the Yorkshire pudding debate ever get settled?
  • No, we're split right down the middle.
  • Put me down as pro. With every roast, not just beef.
  • Finally, someone sensible. Are you a gravy person too?

Both openers are specific, both are easy to answer, and both leave the other person something to come back with. That's all a starter needs to do.

Conversation starters over text that make a first message easy

A private message is quieter than a room, so a starter can be a little warmer and more personal. Keep it short enough to read at a glance, and end with something they can answer.

  1. Hi, I enjoyed your comments in the room earlier, so I thought I'd say hello properly.
  2. Hello. I'm terrible at first messages, so I'll just ask: how's your evening going?
  3. Hey. I've just finished a jigsaw I started months ago, and I need someone to celebrate with. How's your week been?
  4. Hi. Is this your first time trying a chat site, or are you an old hand?
  5. Hello. Tonight's the night I finally learn to make a decent omelette. Any tips?
  6. Hi, I'm the one who couldn't stop laughing at your story about the self-service till. Has it forgiven you yet?
  7. Hey. Two facts about me: I make a decent curry, and I can't parallel park. Your turn.
  8. Hi. I've been told I ask good questions, so here's my best one: what's the most fun you've had this year?
  9. Morning. I hope your coffee is stronger than mine.
  10. Hi. Rate your day out of ten, and I'll tell you mine.
  11. Hello. I'm going to guess you're a cat person. How close am I?
  12. Hello. Quick one: does scone rhyme with gone or with bone? I need to know where we stand.
  13. Hey, I think we were in the same room earlier. I'm the one who started the cold pizza debate.
  14. Hey. I'm torn between a film and an early night. Talk me into one.
  15. Hi. You seem like someone who'd be good company on a long train ride. What would you bring to pass the time?

Stuck for a first line altogether? Promote Me sends intro messages on your behalf to get conversations started, and you can take it from there once someone replies.

Easy openers when you share an interest

A shared interest is a gift: you already know you've got something to talk about. Lead with it, ask about their side of it, and be ready to share your own.

  1. Another football fan. Who do you support, and how much are they stressing you out this season?
  2. You're into yoga too. What's the pose that still defeats you?
  3. A fellow reader. Which book do you press on everyone you meet?
  4. We both said live music. What was the last gig you went to?
  5. I see you're into gaming. What are you playing at the moment?
  6. A fellow comedy fan. Who always makes you laugh, however many times you've heard the joke?
  7. Another DIY fan. What's the project you're proudest of, and what went wrong along the way?
  8. We both listed travel. What's the oddest thing you've ever eaten abroad?
  9. You like quizzes too? What would your specialist subject be?
  10. Fellow film fan: which film do you rewatch every single year?
  11. Another runner. What gets you out of the door on a cold morning?
  12. You're a dog person too. Have you got one, or are you still talking yourself into it?
  13. We both like the theatre. Front row, or happy up in the cheap seats?
  14. A fellow true crime fan. What got you hooked?
  15. You're into photography too. What's the shot you're proudest of?

If they answer with real enthusiasm, you've found your topic. Ask what hooked them, and swap a story of your own.

Starters for people you already chat with, and for couples

Once you know a bit about each other, the strongest starters are callbacks: a mention of something they told you before. They prove you were listening and make picking up the chat feel easy. The last three on this list also work as conversation starters for couples who want to keep things fresh.

  1. How did the interview go? I've been wondering all day.
  2. I tried that café you recommended. You were right about the cake.
  3. I saw a dog today that looked exactly like yours, and it made me smile.
  4. I finally watched the series you kept going on about. We need to talk about episode three.
  5. You never told me how the camping trip ended. Did the tent survive?
  6. Okay, confession time: what's something you've been dying to ask me but haven't?
  7. If we were having this chat over a coffee, where would we be sitting?
  8. I've realised I don't know your star sign. Not that I believe in it. Much.
  9. Did you end up booking that weekend away you mentioned? I want details.
  10. I've got a silly question I've been saving up. Ready?
  11. Something happened today that I think you'd find funny. Want to hear it?
  12. If we planned a day out together, would it be a museum, a long lunch or a walk that ends at a pub?
  13. What's a little thing I do that you secretly like?
  14. If we swapped hobbies for a day, which of mine would you pick?
  15. Which of our chats has been your favourite so far?

Keep it light and kind. A cheeky line is lovely between two people who are both enjoying it, and if an answer goes quiet or awkward, step back to something easier. Our guide on how to flirt has more on keeping it fun.

Is a conversation starter the same as an icebreaker question?

They're close cousins, but they do different jobs.

An icebreaker question

A general question anyone could answer, like which snack you'd defend to the end. It works when you know nothing about someone yet, in a busy room, or when a chat has gone quiet.

A conversation starter

An opener built on something specific to this person or this moment: a detail in their profile, a comment in a room, a shared interest, or something they told you last time.

Use a starter when you've got something to go on, and an icebreaker when you haven't. Our list of 90 icebreaker questions covers the second kind, from silly to deep.

No reply? Don't take it to heart

People get busy, put their phones away or just aren't chatty tonight. Send one starter, give it time, and if nothing comes back, say hello to someone else.

Conversation starter questions, answered

What is a good conversation starter?

A good conversation starter is specific, easy to answer and leaves room for a story. Mentioning something real, such as a photo, an interest or a comment they made in a room, shows you are talking to them in particular and gives them an obvious way to reply.

How do you start a conversation over text?

Keep the first message short: a friendly greeting, one specific detail and something they can answer. A line about your own evening followed by a light question works well, because it gives them something to react to as well as something to reply to.

What are some fun conversation starters?

Fun starters are playful but easy to answer, such as asking whether scone rhymes with gone or bone, joining a room's debate about Yorkshire puddings, or guessing whether someone is a cat person. Silly openers take the pressure off both of you.

What should I do if someone doesn't reply to my opener?

Give it time, and do not send the same line again. If there is still no answer after a day or two, let it go and say hello to someone else, because people get busy and a missing reply is rarely about you.

Do conversation starters work for couples?

Yes. Couples who chat a lot can slip into the same few topics, and a fresh starter, such as asking which of your hobbies they would pick for a day, brings back some of the fun of your early chats. Callbacks to things you have done together work especially well.

Try your opener on someone new

Pick a starter, swap in a real detail, and send it from a room or a private message. The rest tends to follow.

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