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This or That Questions: 126 Quick Picks to Play in Chat

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This or that questions are quick-fire choices between two things, such as chips or mash. Answer fast without explaining, then pick one answer to chat about. Here are 126 for adults, grouped by theme.

How do you play this or that in a chat room?

This or that is built for speed, which makes it perfect for a busy room where messages fly past. Nobody needs to think hard, and anyone can join in.

  1. Someone posts a pair, such as "pancakes or waffles?"
  2. Everyone answers with one word. No explaining yet.
  3. Post the next pair straight away. Five to ten in a row keeps the pace up.
  4. Stop, scroll back and pick the answer that surprised you most. That's your conversation.

In a busy room, start with "Quick-fire round:" so everyone knows it's a game rather than a grilling, and keep the pairs coming until the room runs out of steam.

It works one-to-one too. In private messages, send three or four pairs together, ask for quick answers, then pick one to talk about. You can also post a few as an update on the Activity Feed and see who comments with their picks.

In Natter's chat rooms, which admins moderate, a quick-fire round is an easy way to join in without having to open with something clever. For questions with a bit more drama, try would you rather.

This or that questions about food

The safest place to start. Everyone eats, everyone has opinions, and few things divide a room like a sauce.

  1. Chips or mash?
  2. Crumpets or croissants?
  3. Curry night or pizza night?
  4. Sweet or savoury breakfast?
  5. Thin crust or deep pan?
  6. Mild or extra hot?
  7. Custard or ice cream with crumble?
  8. Cooking from scratch or a good ready meal?
  9. Beans on toast or cheese on toast?
  10. Pancakes or waffles?
  11. Strawberries or raspberries?
  12. Brown sauce or red sauce?
  13. Soup or a sandwich for lunch?
  14. Starter or pudding, if you can only have one?
  15. Fizzy water or still?
  16. Crisps or popcorn?
  17. Lasagne or shepherd's pie?
  18. Fruit salad or cheesecake?

This or that questions for nights in and nights out

Find out early if you're chatting to a sofa person, a dance-floor person or a bit of both.

  1. Pub quiz or karaoke?
  2. Takeaway on the sofa or dinner out?
  3. Escape room or cookery class?
  4. House party or a quiet drink with one friend?
  5. Board games or a film?
  6. Theatre or cinema?
  7. Dancing all night or talking all night?
  8. A gig or a comedy night?
  9. Cocktails or a cuppa?
  10. Candles or fairy lights?
  11. Pyjamas by seven or out till late?
  12. Plans made a week ahead or last-minute plans?
  13. Hosting or being a guest?
  14. Bowling or crazy golf?
  15. Cosy pub with a fire or a rooftop bar?
  16. Night bus or taxi home?
  17. Late-night natter or early-morning walk?
  18. Friday night or Saturday night?

Travel this or that questions

Holiday picks say a lot about someone, and they're a lovely excuse to swap stories about places you've been.

  1. Sun lounger or sightseeing?
  2. Lakes or coast?
  3. Spa day or adventure day?
  4. Backpack or suitcase?
  5. Ferry crossing or long drive?
  6. Hostel or hotel?
  7. Souvenirs or photos?
  8. Sunrise hike or sunset drinks?
  9. Street food or a smart restaurant?
  10. Museums or markets?
  11. Pack light or pack everything?
  12. Staycation or abroad?
  13. Famous sights or quiet back streets?
  14. Early flight or late flight?
  15. Holiday with friends or holiday for two?
  16. Cruise or road trip?
  17. Swim in the sea or the hotel pool?
  18. Country cottage or city apartment?

How do you follow up a pick?

The quick-fire bit is the warm-up. The good stuff starts when you stop and ask about one answer. A few follow-ups that work on almost any pick:

  • "Always, or just lately?" Finds out whether it's a lifelong love or a phase.
  • "What's the story there?" Strong opinions usually come with one.
  • "Defend that." Playful and a bit cheeky, and perfect for any controversial pick.
  • "Where do you go for that?" Turns a preference into a recommendation, and maybe a plan.

Here's a made-up example of a follow-up in action:

  • Crumpets or croissants?
  • Crumpets, no question.
  • Strong stance. Butter only, or are you a jam person?
  • Butter and honey, and I won't be taking criticism.
  • Noted. Where's the crumpet loyalty coming from?
  • My flatmate makes them from scratch. Shop ones are ruined for me now.

And when you both pick the same thing, say so. A shared answer is instant common ground, from crazy golf to a soft spot for crumpets.

A few messages in, it's not a quiz any more: it's a chat about a flatmate with serious baking skills. There's more on keeping a chat rolling in how to keep a conversation going.

This or that questions about everyday habits

Tiny choices, surprisingly strong feelings. These are good for spotting what you have in common.

  1. Up at the first alarm or five more minutes?
  2. Bath or shower?
  3. Make the bed or leave it?
  4. Wall calendar or phone calendar?
  5. Text or ring?
  6. Cash or card?
  7. Lists for everything or keep it all in your head?
  8. Socks in bed or bare feet?
  9. Window open or shut at night?
  10. Walk or get the bus?
  11. Porridge or cereal?
  12. Duvet in summer or just a sheet?
  13. Music while you work or silence?
  14. Notifications on or off?
  15. Phone face up or face down on the table?
  16. Self-checkout or a staffed till?
  17. Fold clothes or roll them?
  18. Houseplants everywhere or none at all?

This or that questions about films, music and TV

All genres, no titles, so nobody needs to have seen the same thing to join in. Follow up by asking for a recommendation.

  1. Horror or comedy?
  2. Rom-com or thriller?
  3. Documentaries or reality TV?
  4. Sci-fi or fantasy?
  5. Crime drama or period drama?
  6. Stand-up or sketch shows?
  7. Musicals or murder mysteries?
  8. Podcasts or audiobooks?
  9. Live band or a DJ set?
  10. Pop or rock?
  11. Jazz or classical?
  12. Black-and-white classics or this year's releases?
  13. Subtitles on or off?
  14. Quiz shows or cooking shows?
  15. Video games or jigsaw puzzles?
  16. Paperbacks or an e-reader?
  17. Animation or live action?
  18. Happy endings or twist endings?

Personality this or that questions

A little more revealing, still quick. Answer honestly and you'll learn a lot about each other in a few minutes. When you want questions with more room for a story, the 21 questions game is the natural next step.

  1. Leader or sidekick?
  2. Head or heart?
  3. Glass half full or half empty?
  4. Saver or spender?
  5. Tidy or creative chaos?
  6. Big group or small circle?
  7. Say sorry first or wait it out?
  8. Ask for directions or work it out yourself?
  9. Remember names or remember faces?
  10. Brutally honest or kindly tactful?
  11. Competitive or just here for fun?
  12. Stick to the rules or bend them a little?
  13. Change your mind often or stick to your guns?
  14. Laugh at your own jokes or keep a straight face?
  15. Hugger or handshaker?
  16. Overthinker or go with your gut?
  17. Bold colours or calm neutrals?
  18. Cool in a crisis or flap first, fix later?

This or that questions for dating and romance

Clean and a little flirty, for chats that have found their spark. Natter is for adults, 18+, and the usual manners apply: if someone skips one, skip it too. The flirting guides have more on keeping it light.

  1. Coffee date or brunch date?
  2. Compliments or acts of kindness?
  3. Split the bill or take turns?
  4. Meet the friends early or keep it just you two for a while?
  5. Good morning message or goodnight message?
  6. Cute nicknames or just your name?
  7. Big romantic gestures or small everyday ones?
  8. Choose the film or choose the food?
  9. Dress up or come as you are?
  10. Talk every day or give each other space?
  11. Laugh together or debate together?
  12. Cook for them or be cooked for?
  13. Sunset walk or stargazing?
  14. Same hobbies or different ones?
  15. Chat for weeks first or meet within days?
  16. Emoji-heavy messages or full sentences?
  17. Opposites attract or two of a kind?
  18. Sweet or cheeky?

If a pick turns into talk of a real date, lovely. Take it at your own pace and keep the chat on Natter until you feel ready to meet; our chat safety guide covers the rest.

This or that: questions people ask

What are this or that questions?

Quick choices between two options, such as crisps or popcorn, answered in a word with no explanation. They're a fast, low-pressure way to learn someone's tastes.

How do you play this or that?

One person asks a pair, the other picks straight away, and you keep going for five to ten pairs. Then stop and chat about the answer that surprised you most.

What's the difference between this or that and would you rather?

This or that is quick and everyday, with no reasons needed. Would you rather offers a tricky or silly dilemma, and the reasons are the whole point. Both are in our questions collection.

Are there this or that questions for adults?

Every pair on this page is written for adults: nights out, travel, habits and dating, all kept clean so you can play them in a busy room.

How many this or that questions should I ask in a row?

Five to ten is plenty. Any more and it starts to feel like a survey, so stop and ask about one of the answers.

How do I make up my own this or that questions?

Keep both options short and from the same world, such as two snacks or two kinds of holiday, and make both appealing so the choice is hard. Then mix silly pairs with ones that say something about you.

This or That: Lurk or Say Hello?

Say hello. Make a profile, join a room and start the next quick-fire round yourself.

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