Chat Glossary: Online Chat and Dating Terms
Join freeFrom lurkers and left on read to catfish and Super Matches, here are the words you'll meet in chat rooms, private messages and online dating, each explained in plain English.
Find a word by theme
Online chat has a language of its own, and it changes quickly. This glossary groups the terms you're most likely to meet into five themes, so you can jump to the one you need. Natter is a chat site for adults (18+), so the dating words here are kept friendly and clean.
Looking for the meaning of a text abbreviation instead? Our chat slang guide explains 50 of them, from lol to tbh.
Chat room words
- Chat room
A live group conversation online where everyone in the room can read and reply. Natter's chat rooms are moderated by admins and open only to adults. Our guide to the best chat rooms for adults covers what to look for.
- Admin or moderator
The person who keeps a room friendly: they can step in, remove messages and deal with people who break the rules.
- Lurker
Someone who reads a room without joining in. Lurking for a minute is a sensible way to get the feel of a room before you say hello.
- Regular
A familiar name you'll often see in the same room, usually happy to welcome someone new.
- Newbie
Someone new to a room or a site. Everyone was one once.
- Thread
One strand of conversation. In a busy room several threads run at once, which is why people reply using each other's usernames.
- Flooding
Posting lots of messages in quick succession so nobody else can get a word in. One of the quickest ways to annoy a room.
- Shouting
Typing in capital letters, which readers hear as raising your voice.
- Troll
Someone who posts to provoke a reaction. The best response is none at all: report them and carry on.
- Spam
Unwanted, repeated or promotional messages, often with links. Natter's community rules ban selling and promoting.
- Netiquette
Good manners online. Our chat room dos and don'ts put it into practice.
Messaging words
- Private message (PM or DM)
A one-to-one message only the two of you can see. PM stands for private message and DM for direct message; they mean the same thing.
- Opener
The first message you send someone. Our guide to opening messages explains what makes one work.
- Icebreaker
A light question that gets people talking, like "what's the best thing you've eaten this week?". We have 90 icebreaker questions to borrow.
- Callback
Bringing up something the other person mentioned earlier. It shows you were listening, and it's the easiest way to restart a chat.
- Read receipt
A note that your message has been opened. On Natter, read receipts come with VIP and VIP+.
- Left on read
When someone has opened your message but not replied. Usually it means "later", not "never". Our page on reply timing explains more.
- Double text
Sending a second message before the first has been answered. Once, with something new in it, is friendly; several in a row is pressure.
- Ghosting
Ending contact by disappearing without a word. Kinder alternatives exist, including Natter's one-click polite replies.
- Slow fade
Replying less and less until the chat peters out, a gentler cousin of ghosting.
Sending just enough occasional, flirty messages to keep someone interested, with no intention of anything more.
- Orbiting
Stopping the conversation but still hovering around someone's posts and profile.
- Zombieing
When someone who ghosted you reappears, acting as if nothing happened.
Dating and flirting words
- Banter
Playful, teasing back and forth. Good banter is kind, and both people are laughing.
- Rizz
Slang for charm, especially the ability to flirt well. Our guide to flirting without awkwardness helps if yours feels rusty.
- Talking stage
The early weeks of chatting with someone you like, before either of you has decided what it is.
- Situationship
Something more than friendship but less than a defined relationship, often with nobody quite sure where it's going.
- DTR
Short for "define the relationship": the conversation where two people agree what they are to each other.
- Green flag
A good sign about someone, like remembering what you told them or taking no for an answer gracefully.
- Red flag
A warning sign, such as pressure, a story that keeps changing or any mention of money.
- The ick
A sudden feeling of being put off by someone, often over something small.
- Cuffing season
The colder months, when people are said to be keener to find someone to spend cosy evenings with.
- First date
The first time you meet in person. Our guides cover going from chat to a date and meeting safely.
Safety words
- Catfish
Someone using a fake identity online, often with stolen photos. Our guide to spotting scams shows how to check a profile.
- Romance scam
A fraud where someone builds an online romance in order to ask for money. However the story is told, it ends in a request for cash, gift cards or bank details.
- Love bombing
Overwhelming someone with affection and attention very early on. Sometimes it's just enthusiasm; in scams, it's a tactic.
- Phishing
A message or fake page designed to trick you into handing over a password, a code or payment details.
- Bot
An automated account pretending to be a person, often to push links. Natter's software watches for bot and scammer behaviour. Bots thrive where nobody has to sign up, as our look at what no-cost chat rooms really cost explains.
- Sextortion
Threatening to share someone's intimate images unless they pay. Never pay; stop replying, keep the evidence and report it.
- Reverse image search
Searching the web with a photo instead of words, to see where else it appears. Handy for checking profile pictures.
- Block
Stopping someone from contacting you. On Natter, blocking takes effect instantly.
- Report
Flagging a member or a post to the team so they can look into it. You can report from inside the site, and the chat safety page explains how.
Words you'll see on Natter
- Natter
A friendly, casual chat, and the name of the site. Our page on what natter means covers the word in full.
- Free, VIP and VIP+
Natter's three plans. Joining is free and the Free plan has limits; VIP and VIP+ are paid plans that add more. The features page sets out each one.
- Private group chat
A chat of your own for up to 50 people. Members on VIP and VIP+ can create one.
- Activity Feed
Where members share updates and posts, and others can comment and like.
- Spaces
Where members write longer posts, from opinions to stories, alongside polls and articles.
- Promote Me
Short intro messages sent on your behalf to help conversations get started. Open to every member.
- Super Match
Lets you send someone a message they can always open and answer, and moves your profile to the front for them for 24 hours. Free members get one a week; VIP and VIP+ get three.
- Boost
Priority placement for your profile across the site for 60 minutes. VIP and VIP+ include one a week. Boosts and Super Matches add visibility; they don't guarantee replies.
- Likes and rewinds
A like shows interest in someone; a rewind lets you undo a pass. VIP and VIP+ include unlimited likes and rewinds and show you who likes you.
- Daily match suggestions
People suggested to you each day, weighing things like age range, distance, recent activity, interests and what each of you is looking for.
- Incognito
A privacy option included with VIP and VIP+.
- Verified badge
Shows a member has passed Natter's optional ID check, which costs nothing. It confirms who someone is, not what they intend.
- Chatterbox, Heartthrob and Most Popular
Badges members earn through their activity on Natter. There's also a badge for members who reliably reply to messages.
- Reputation score
A score built from a member's behaviour and other members' one-click thumbs up or down.
- Polite reply
A ready-made, kind way to say "no thanks" in one click.
A little chat shorthand
- WYD
"What are you doing?" Our page on what WYD means has 30 ways to reply.
- HMU
"Hit me up", meaning get in touch. See what HMU means for when it's friendly and when to be wary.
- BRB
"Be right back", the polite way to step away from a live chat for a moment.
- TBH
"To be honest", usually before an opinion.
There are dozens more in our chat slang guide, and the how to chat guides put all these words to work.
Questions about chat terms
What does lurking mean in a chat room?
Lurking means reading a room's conversation without posting. It is perfectly normal, and watching for a minute or two is a good way to learn a room's mood before joining in.
What is the difference between ghosting and the slow fade?
Ghosting is disappearing all at once without a word. The slow fade is replying less and less until the chat dies out on its own.
What does catfish mean online?
A catfish is someone pretending to be another person online, usually with stolen photos and an invented story. Some do it for attention and some to set up a scam.
What is the difference between a PM and a DM?
There is no real difference. Both mean a one-to-one message that only the sender and the recipient can see.
What is a Super Match on Natter?
A Super Match lets you send a message the other member can always open and answer, and it moves your profile to the front for them for 24 hours. Every member gets at least one a week.
Now You Speak Fluent Chat
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