Online Chat Safety Tips for Rooms and Private Chats

Join free

Stay safe in chat by trusting your instincts, keeping personal details back, blocking anyone who won't take no, ignoring links from strangers, and reporting problems from inside the site so admins can act.

Staying safe is mostly good habits, not fear

The vast majority of chats are exactly what they look like: people being friendly, nosy, silly and kind. You don't need to approach every new username with suspicion. What helps is a handful of habits that let you deal calmly with the occasional person who isn't playing nicely, so a bad five minutes never spoils a good evening.

Natter does a lot of the watching for you, from admins in the rooms to age checks and screening, and the main chat safety page lists every tool. This page is about the other half: the situations you may meet, and what to do in each. Natter is for adults only (18+), and every tip here assumes you're the one in charge of your own chats.

An unwanted message: what to do in the first minute

Remember you don't owe a reply. A message arriving doesn't oblige you to answer it.
If it's simply not for you, send a short, kind no, or use one of Natter's one-click polite replies.
If it's rude, crude or aggressive, don't engage at all. Arguing gives them the attention they came for.
Block them. It takes effect straight away, and from then on they can't message you.
Report them from their profile, so the team can look into it and stop them doing the same to someone else.
Get on with your evening. Seriously. Close the chat and go back to the people you were enjoying.

Trolls and pests in a room

Now and then someone turns up in a room looking for a reaction: provoking, mocking, posting things designed to annoy. The old advice still holds. Don't feed them. Every reply, even a clever put-down, is exactly the fuel they want.

Instead, report them so the admins who moderate the rooms can deal with it, block them if they've turned their attention to you, and carry on talking to everyone else as if they weren't there. Resist the urge to rally the room against them; pile-ons turn a nuisance into a scene. And if a room's mood has soured for the night, there's no shame in leaving and coming back tomorrow.

When someone won't take no for an answer

Natter's community rules are clear that no means move on. Most people respect that instantly. If someone doesn't, you'll usually see it in one of these forms: more messages after you've said no, guilt ("I thought you were nice"), anger, or a sudden change of tone from charming to nasty.

Say no once, clearly, and then stop. You don't need to explain, soften it again or win the argument. Something as simple as this is enough:

I've said I'm not interested. I won't be replying again.

Then block and report. Persistence after a no is exactly the kind of behaviour the team wants to hear about, and it's not your job to manage it on your own.

Pressure from a group

Group chats are usually great fun, but groups can also nudge people into things they wouldn't do alone: sharing a photo "because everyone else has", giving away where they live as part of a game, or joining in when the group turns on someone. If a group makes you uncomfortable, you can simply leave it. You don't need permission, and you don't need to announce it. If anything in it breaks the rules, report it from inside the site.

Links, files and people pretending to be staff

Links from people you don't know: Don't click them, especially anything that asks you to log in. A fake login page is one of the oldest tricks there is.
Files you weren't expecting: Leave them unopened. A friendly chat doesn't need an attachment from a stranger.
Someone claiming to be staff: No genuine support team needs your password or a login code. Never share either, with anyone, however official they sound.
Anyone who wants paying to "verify" you: Natter's ID check is optional and costs nothing, and no member ever needs to be paid to prove anything. A request like that is a scam.

Our guide to spotting scams goes much further into the scripts fraudsters use.

Is it a person or a bot?

Natter's software watches for patterns of behaviour that point to bots and scammers, but it helps to know the signs yourself:

Long, polished replies arrive instantly, every time.
Answers are generic and never quite pick up what you said.
Your questions get ignored while theirs keep coming.
A link, a website or another app appears within the first few messages.
The same lines turn up word for word in different rooms.

If you suspect a bot, don't click anything it sends, and report the profile so it can be checked. Bots are far more common in rooms anyone can enter without an account, which is one reason no-cost chat rooms come with hidden costs.

Late nights and a glass of wine

Chatting late, or after a drink or two, is part of the fun for plenty of people. It's also when judgement slips. A few gentle rules for after dark: don't share anything you wouldn't share at lunchtime, don't agree to meet anyone that night, and sleep on any big decision, whether that's sending a photo or giving out a number. If it still seems a good idea in the morning, it'll keep.

Keep where you are to yourself

Natter only ever shows the town or city you're nearest to; your address and your live location stay off the site. Keep it that way in conversation too. Talk about your area in general terms, avoid sharing your exact street or the times you're usually home alone, and think twice before posting a photo of the view from your window. Our privacy tips cover the less obvious ways details slip out.

How to write a report that helps the team act

Reports go straight to the people who can do something about them, and a clear one makes their job quicker. Include:

Who: the member's username, and report from their profile where you can.
Where: a room, a private message or a group chat.
What happened, in a sentence or two, sticking to what was said and done.
When, roughly, and whether it's happened before.

Keep the messages rather than deleting them; they help. And if you'd rather talk it through, Natter's team answers by chat and messaging, day and night.

After a nasty exchange, look after yourself

Even a short spiteful chat can leave you rattled. That's a normal reaction, and it isn't your fault. Step away from the screen, talk to a friend, make a cup of tea. Come back when you feel like it, to the rooms and the people you enjoy. One unpleasant username is not the measure of a whole community.

More ways to stay safe and enjoy the chat

Questions about staying safe in chat

How do I stay safe in a chat room?

Keep personal details such as your address, workplace and number to yourself, ignore links from people you do not know, and block and report anyone who makes you uncomfortable. Trust your instincts, and leave any room or chat that stops being fun.

What should I do if someone keeps messaging after I've said no?

Stop replying, block them and report them from their profile. You only need to say no once, and carrying on after a no breaks Natter's community rules.

How can I tell if I'm chatting to a bot?

Bots tend to reply instantly with polished, generic messages, ignore your questions and push a link or another app early on. If a chat feels like that, do not click anything and report the profile.

Should I click links people send me in chat?

Not from people you do not know well, and never one that asks you to log in or enter payment details. Fake login pages are a common way to steal accounts.

What happens when I report someone?

Your report goes to the team that looks after the site, who can review what happened and act on it. You can block the member straight away while they do, so they cannot contact you in the meantime.

Chat With Confidence

Moderated rooms, instant blocking and a team on hand day and night. Come and have a natter.

Join free